Very Long and Very Boring

I'm restricting my tv watching to Comedy night and Lost from now on, so you may see a sharkier side to this blog for a while.

First, I'd like to apologize to all my down home fans for how cocky I look in our blog's title picture. I think the true cause was the sun and not feelings of awesomeness.

Now onto business.

The last few years have changed my worldview. Let me lay a bit of context before the narrative. I have two sides to me. One is anti-establishment. It's in my nature to take the less-beaten path and discover loopholes in the system, ignore rules I disagree with, cheer the underdog, and to feel a little gross about trends. But another side of me is thoroughly pro-establishment. When reading accounts of whatever oppressed group rebelling against the Man, I side with the oppressed morally and logically, but sometimes have to fight a defensive feeling of the Man, as if he is my true people somehow. I naturally sympathize with boss over union, cop over detainee, corporate defendant over small plaintiff, etc. Up until recently I reflexively trusted institutions and the heads that ran them. Not sure why this is, but growing up in a highly conservative place in a very authoritarian religion (and I use the A word in a very neutral, factual way, not a pejorative one), in a white-male dominated society probably has something to do with it.

So back to my leading statement. I've come to the conclusion that when it comes to macro issues, people (and most institutions) just don't know what the hud they're talking about. None of them. At least no one that you or I have conversational access to. In other words, if they are talking to you, you can go ahead and feel safe discounting everything they say. And most people don't even know what they are talking about on specific issues (e.g. Why is my car making this noise, who would win a fight to the death between a mountain lion and two timber wolves? Or what's the history behind every last American Jew being liberal or behind every last comedian being an American Jew?), but that's a discussion for another day. Most of us (again, on a macro level) lack vision and follow the program believing that the small, elite cadre of folks/institutions manning the helm have command of all the facts and are maintaining a steady course. I include myself in all this, of course. I know this isn't anything original. Commentators from Rand to Huxley, from both ideological poles, have been voicing one or another iteration of this from the beginning. But I hadn't personally experienced it yet in a big way, and I think that's what it takes for something to really take root deep in your psyche and conditioned responses. The road to my revelation began as I took a job with the nation's largest home builder*. I was about to graduate college and had developed a very recent interest in business, but had no knowledge of specific paths. A friend introduced me to the booming construction industry. They needed people with a superficial business education and a deep and wide knowledge of military history, so I signed on. My very well-reasoned rationale in taking this job was as follows:
-It was the only interview I had done so far and they offered me the job.
-The pay was much more than I ever expected out of college, since shark wranglers start out between 8-9 dollars an hour (not including bite pay).
-I thought "what kind of people work in construction? Dumb people. I'll be running the joint in 2 weeks."

I took the job. I was immediately struck by the enormous salaries and artificially inflated titles belonging to lower and middle managers of mediocre talent and education. My family can attest to my intense interest, from the age of 5, in the salaries of different jobs, so I thought I had a decent sense of what folks on different tiers in different industries made. But this industry wasn't anywhere near fitting my template. How could a director with GE/Siemens/Walmart/3M, someone with an MBA, muy experience and responsibility for 90 people make a total of 175K when a Pulte "VP" with little formal education, responsibility for 25 people, makes a total of 400-500K in a relatively unsophisticated industry. Didn't pass the smell test. I was working in Southern CA in the tract home building business in 2005. In other words, I was at the height of the height of the height of the bubble. I was standing on top of a jenga block tower, that were on top of a sugar cube pyramid, that was on top of the highest possible centimeter of the bubble. Everyone around me was buying as many houses as they could, and as expensive homes as they could get loans for. 85% of your friendly conversation with the average person was how they had made 70k in their house in the last 6 months. It was just crazy. Otherwise smart people were getting interest only and ARM loans and telling you that there was absolutely NO risk. None. It was just a free lunch. A free buffet. At the Siz.

Five or six months after I started the job, the bubble popped. But many of us in the industry bought the line that it had just sprung a temporary leak which needed to be patched before we could resume inflating it and filling our backyards with more pet white tigers and lazy rivers. Other big home builders started laying off. We were assured that Pulte had never had a losing year or done layoffs in it's 55 yr history. We were safe. In fact, this would probably benefit Pulte, as we were a more sound and fiscally conservative company and would surely grab market share from the other clowns. Then Pulte started laying off. Our brilliant and candid (truly, I'm not being sarcastic) CEO predicted it would bottom out and start to climb in summer of 07 ish. Every dept. thought it was the safest. No business can operate without finance. Salespeople are the moneymakers. You can't get by without superintendents to build the homes. Customer Relations has to always be around to service the warranties, etc (even I knew this last one was ridiculous. "Ok Board, who we gonna keep? The crew that builds the product, the crew that sells the product, or the crew that services the product for free after we've been paid for it? Hmm, better save the last one. Yep, definitely them."). Everyone was wrong. After each layoff the brass would tell the troops "wow, that was really tough, but you are left because you are the best and now we are 'right-sized' through at least... (fill in with some distant future date)." Then another unexpected round of lay offs long before said date. Same speech. Then another layoff. Repeat cycle ad infinitum. I think I saw 4 or 5 of these rounds before jumping ship. You know the rest of the story. Sub-prime mortgage meltdown, financial sector meltdown, credit meltdown, employment meltdown, consumption meltdown, world meltdown. A few people were honest and smart enough to admit they didn't know where all this was heading. They didn't have a Ph.D in finance, economics, organizational behavior, and political science, and even if they did, they still would be wrong more often then right. But most people actually think they usually understand what's going on and can accurately predict where things are going. In other words, 99% of what I heard experts and laymen say in the last 4 years has been bogus. Then you have a few other fairly recent institutional failures.

Clinton and Monica.

Clinton and 9/11.

Bush and Iraq.

Kindly Democratic congressmen/senators making possible the dream of every low-income person living the American dream of having a hummer and a $600,000 mortgage.

All the top financial firms in America buying as many of these sub-prime mortgages as possible.

Then people fall for Sarah Palin.

Then people fall for Barrack Obama. (who I happen to like so far, minus the recent stimulus, but still think most peoples' initial reasons for supporting him were akin to Beatlemania).

Then you have most of the media making complete fools of themselves and selling their last ounce of credibility.

Government, big business, big media, and a lot of us common folk made bad choices and now we're in a huge mess. How does that happen? I guess we all think someone else is driving the bus and that person must be a very competent, and if enough people are doing something it must be ok.

So, what have I learned from all this. I trust government far less. I trust conservatives far less. I trust liberals far less. I trust big business far less. I trust experts far less. I trust laypeople not at all.

I still love people and life and think this is a great world. I just think 99 out of 100 people are talking out of their bums 99 out of 100 times.




*Measured in terms of units sold, not revenue earned. More specifically based on units sold on 2/27/05 in Topeka, Kansas between 4 and 5:13 pm. Pulte Homes Inc. takes no responsibility for the repetition of the referenced claim, as such assertions are prone to a thousand interpretations and only used in recruiting and training to impress impressionable minds. Please destroy this after reading and try to forget we ever spoke of it.

Marathon Weekend

I don't know if it's that we know Oliver is on to the fact that his life is about to change drastically or that we are just wanting to soak up every minute we have left with just the three of us (My OB scheduled my c-section for March 17th- a St. Patty's baby!), but we did some serious recreating this weekend. Starting Friday with raking leaves in the yard (after about a 3-month delay), a mall outing which Oliver loves for all the hot air balloons displayed there, and then going glow bowling on Saturday, and finally on Monday to Albuquerque's amazing kids' science museum. Needless to say, we were all a little tired come Monday and Oliver showed us by throwing a fit at our last stop at the museum- the bubble tank that he wanted so desperately to submerge Chick Hicks (from Cars) in.

Oliver gave these a thorough run-through before we scooped them up.

Christian sat and made these for Oliver one night. Can you guess "who" the blue car is?

Look who's a dipper, just like his Daddy! Oliver downed almost the entire basket of bowling alley french fries and he really couldn't get enough sauce.

I just wanted everyone to see Christian's incredible form. He won the first game, I won the second. He had some amazing strikes that night.

Oliver was also quite the bowler and would literally leap and shout for joy every time he sent the ball down the lane. I haven't seen him that excited in months.

They had this exhibit where you ride this bike out on a high wire. The worker tried to convince me to try it, but my fear of heights is just greater than the thrill this ride might have provided.

Misc.

In answer to your questions, yes I was cuffed, patted down, finger printed and detained in jail for a while when a routine longboarding-on-campus ticket turned into an old warrant for not paying a long-forgotten vehicle registration ticket in another city a year or two before. Don't think running didn't cross my mind, but this was the same campus cop who had given me my first longboarding ticket, so that wouldn't have ended well for the very recognizable 6'4 longboarder. Back at the station they told me I had to pay $300 bail to avoid spending the night in jail. I thought for a minute and and told them I wanted to spend the night if it meant me not paying the money. I was in need of a non-social good night sleep anyway and it seemed like one of those rare win win situations. They seemed surprised at my answer because they didn't say anything for a few seconds and then rambled in cop jargon i couldn't really understand about something that made it sound like I would have to pay no matter what. I think I only had one phone call so I called the only type of person i knew would 1. be sure to answer their cell phone, and 2. Have access to some sort of parent-funded banking account: a freshman girl. That was the right answer and I was bailed out that night.

Now onto Oliver's latest:

Out of nowhere he started saying "That's a beautiful car!"

...

Rebecca was changing his diaper the other day, and when she bent down to dispose of the old diaper, but before he had a new one on, he started peeing and the pee shot right onto his face and into his mouth. No one would particularly enjoy this, but Oliver's a pretty finicky little fellow, and he was not seeing any humor at all in the surprise self sabotage. For the next little while he made disgusted faces and whined and showed his severe disapproval of both the taste and the unexpectedness of the thing.

...

Every time we tell him we are going somewhere (which always makes his day) he says, "Ya, let's go to Natey's house!" (his 5 yr old Utah cousin who paid special attention to him over Christmas, and who Oliver calls on the phone every week or so). He misses Natey big time.

...

We were at the mall a couple days ago and I decided it's time to add a second car to his CARS collection. So I took him in the Disney store, he found the cars and he started begging/ordering me to open the Chick Hicks car. I told him we had to buy it first, so we bought it, the women opened it, handed it to him, and he runs a few feet, hoists Chick into air and shouts "Dun, dun, DUN!"

...

When I get on him about doing something naughty sometimes he'll try to pass the buck to whichever car he is holding (usually Lye-ming Coo-een, i.e. lightning mcqueen). "Oliver don't do that, that's naughty" "Ya, Lye-ming that's naughty!"

...

His Sammy shark must be manic depressive because Oliver is constantly comforting him in the softest, highest voice.

...

We were watching a nature show where a grizzly bear had a fish in its mouth and I said "that bear is eating that fish." Ollie replied "I know, he's eating SAMMY!"

...

Even though his shoes are usually set out in the proper order, he manages to put them on the wrong feet 90% of the time. It is too odds-defying to be an accident. I really think he recognizes the left and positively thinks it goes on the right foot and vice versa.

...

He still LOVES to cuddle and is often saying "I want cuddles." or, when one of us is under a blanket, "I want be nice and cozy" and then he'll crawl right under the blanket with us.

...

Sometimes we'll hear him yelling loudly and authoritatively and closer inspection reveals him reprimanding something, always inanimate (like the water on his just-washed hands, or his own finger), saying over and over "NO, GE OWA HERE (get out of here), GE OWA HERE, GE OWA HERE WATER, GO PWALAY (play), GO PWALAY WIT CARS."

Down by the River

We were cooped up all weekend long with some sort of stomach bug, so by the time Monday rolled around, I HAD to get out. We decided to make a family night out of throwing rocks in the river, one of Oliver's all-time favorite things to do.

Remember the Police Beat?

A friend sent this old clipping from BYU's Daily Universe to us in the mail the other day. I'll give you ONE guess as to who the perpetrator was.


If you guessed Christian, you're right. My husband is a criminal, with a record.

Belated Christmas

Since our camera was found, I guess I need to post some pictures of Christmas time, right? This is a major potpourri and I'm not going to go in to detail, so enjoy!

Disgusting, huh? Christian bought these on a whim one day and it was our son's protein for the day.
Oliver got some play-do and Christian was busily making dough cars for him for a few days that Oliver ate with, slept with, and carried everywhere with him.

We got Oliver a "big boy bed" for Christmas which he has yet to last a nap or night in b/c he wakes up dazed and confused and wants to be put back in his crib.

I know it's a bad pic, but you get the idea of the cuteness of this snowsuit. No wonder he didn't want to put it on.
Daddy and Oliver playing in the Utah snow. Oliver wouldn't let Christian put him down his first time out.
JoLynn ended being the one to get Oliver out in the snow on their almost daily walks. Oliver loved spending time with his Grandma and misses her so much!

The ONLY picture we have of Oliver during present-opening time. Let's just say after he saw his cars, he was done.

Ring around the rosies with cousins.

Check out this AMAZING giveaway!

I went to this address: http://inevergrewup.net/giveaway-25-bumbleride-indie-stroller/#comment-6845 and entered this amazing giveaway. See for yourself!

Loved it!

I couldn't make this picture bigger, so what you see is what you get. Anyway- one of my favorite books of all time. I HIGHLY recommend it if you're looking for an easy read, and want to cry, laugh, and gasp in disbelief every time you sit down to read it. In case you can't see the pic, it's The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls.

UPDATE: We found our camera!!! Well, Christian's Mom, JoLynn found our camera. YEAH!!!

"A Series of Unfortunate Events..."

Ok, so I've been a negligent poster as of late because we LOST OUR CAMERA! And, what fun is it to post with no pictures?? To shed some light on the title of this post, let me start at the beginning. Christian dropped his phone in a water bucket while washing windows about a month or so before Christmas. We got him a new Blackberry because we figured with a new business and him being on the road a lot, it would really help out to reduce the amount of work he had to do from home. As we were checking out at Verizon, the salesman happened to mention something about phone insurance. I'm not a typical warranty-buying, full coverage insurance card-carrying person, but I knew given our rotten luck with phones, this might be a necessity. THANK GOODNESS. Christian dropped his NEW phone in to a bucket of water AGAIN two days ago. One $50 deductible later, he had a new Blackberry. Whew! Now, let's backtrack. Christmas was fabulous- truly relaxing and wonderful in every way. On Christmas day, we were taking pictures of the kids playing "Ring Around the Rosy." Next thing I know, our camera has all but disappeared into thin air. GONE. We looked everywhere, sent out an S.O.S. to Christian's family (we spent Christmas in Utah with the Bells this year), but to no avail. We drove home to Albuquerque sans camera. The tragic thing is that this was an almost brand-new camera, and, hello, we are having a baby in a couple of months with no way to document it! I'm heartbroken for all the lost pictures that are on that camera and also that we now have no way of saving moments for our posterity until we get a new camera (which I don't see happening anytime in the near future). So, don't expect any razzle-dazzle posts in the near future either. On to more recent events. Yesterday, after days of putting off grocery shopping out of pure laziness, I finally made it out of the house. On the way to Wal-mart, I was taking a left when the sun jumped out from behind the trees and blinded me. I ran over a huge curb and my front tire went completely flat in about 5 seconds. I called Christian who came right over, no chiding and no complaints, and changed my tire. Yep, he's a good one. So, I drove to Wal-mart again today to see if their tire dept. can fix my tire. Nope- bent rim. I take it to another place down the road. Instead of waiting there, I stick Oliver in the stroller and head down to Chick-fil-A for lunch. It's January 9th and I'm sweating as I walk down the street. Crazy. As I'm finding a seat in the full restaurant with my tray in one hand and stroller in the other, my tray slips and my delicious cookies and cream milkshake goes tumbling to the floor and splatters all over me and the table next to me. AHHHH! Not only was I really embarassed, but dripping with milkshake that I could obviously no longer enjoy the way I had been looking forward to! The day's not over yet, but Oliver had a total meltdown in Chick-fil-A, wouldn't eat anything, and was throwing himself all over the floor. Before I followed suit, I called Christian and asked if he could please come pick us up and drive us back to the tire store, b/c I had reached my limit for the day/week/month, which he so thougtfully did. As I write this, Oliver, who was SOOOOO tired at the restaurant, has been playing in his crib for the past 2 hours, without even an attempt at napping. And, I'm not getting him out until he does.

If already having a bad day, don't read this

I learned something recently that has changed my life, and I want to share it with all of you because I think it will do the same for you.

I'm listening to a really cool book (The Devil's Teeth, by Susan Casey) about the Great White Sharks that feed on seals every fall at the Farallone Islands, which are 27 miles west of San Fransisco. This island is fascinating for a number of historical and biological reasons, not the least of which is the rare size of many of the Great Whites that hunt there, right off shore. The Great Whites that can be seen in large numbers in other parts of the world (ring of death in South Africa; Guadalupe Islands in Mexico, etc) will average between 10-15 ft long. But the females at the Farallones are between 16-21 feet.

But I already knew those length statistics as I'm sure you did. It was learning the following that has changed me forever:

A 20 ft long Great White will be 8 ft wide and 6 ft deep. That's not a typo. 20 by 8 by 6.

It's important that you measure that out with your family for FHE, with the moral being that we be grateful for every breath we take.