December 8, 2007

Super stalker sense and Ollie stats

Rebecca made a bunch of cookies for our ward Christmas party tonight. Then she left and hid them from Oliver and me. We found them. Then had a wonderful time eating a few of those scrumptious cookies with some cold milk. After rearranging the remaining 2 dozen cookies on the platter to cover the voids left by their digesting mates, we wrapped the platter to mirror its original state. Then I drank all the milk in my glass and put the empty glass in the sink. As I was walking away, though, I realized that there was still that faint milky residue on the bottom of the glass. Knowing that Reba might have realized I only drink milk with cookies, and understanding her ability to smell a burp 4 rooms distant and see 1 chocolate chip missing from a bag of 347, I thought it would be prudent to fill the glass with water to overwhelm the almost imperceptible milk dust. Reba got home, looked at the glass full of water in the sink and said, "So how many cookies did you have?"

In other news, Ollie just had a Dr. appt. Rebecca, after a year and a half inciting my deep frustration at her coming home from every dr. appt. with hugely fluctuating weight/height stats. Through further questioning I have discovered the inconsistency was due to her and every one of Ollie's different doctor's and nurses somehow miscommunicating as to whether Ollie's height percentile is based on other kids in his weight class (and vice versa) or all in the age group, on top of how the strength of the yen that year plays into things. I know every other women in the world comes home with 2 straightforward percentile numbers; each based solely on the age group, rather than the weight and height having any bearing on the other, and I would simply assume the former. But given the impossible variation from visit to visit, when she comes home with a new criteria each time, I've been forced to live in darkness concerning my boy's standing in the world.

Well this time I sent her with strict instructions to sort things out with the nurse, which she says she did. So unless there was another mix up, Oliver is in the 5th percentile in weight, and 95th in height. Hard to believe, if you don't know his dad. But knowing me, I guess it's plausible.

11 comments:

Layne said...

I love your explanation of your thievery and your logic in covering your tracks. Classic. Reba knows you too well my friend. That story makes me miss you guys.

Andrea W. said...

LOL, a wife knows when her husband is up to know good. Good Rebecca has extra perceptive powers! Oliver is so cute!

Macy said...

I have never seen a family that stalks more, mostly regarding food.

Christian said...

So true Macy. I actually hate that and have tried to do my part to end it, but Reba can't resist. Looks like we'll be stalking for the next 50 years.

Janalee said...

Kallyn was the same way at all her appts! Really low for weight and high for length/height! I got so tired of the nurses telling me to feed her! Hope the cookies were worth it! Eric just ate all my oreos!

Jami said...

http://pediatrics.about.com/cs/usefultools/l/bl_percentiles.htm
Chris- this is how we calculate our percentiles. :) Well, just wanted you guys to know that we love reading your blog.

Jami said...

http://pediatrics.about.com/cs/usefultools/l/bl_perc_calc.htm?gender=2&months_ten=0&months=3&cwt=10.75&chf=1&chi=10&chi_percent=.5&hc=14.6&submitButtonName=Calculate+Percentiles

Ok, maybe the link will work this time...

Jo said...

I can just picture you and Oliver--cookie monster buddies. Good catch Rebecca!

LOL on your frustration with the previous stats. I have a hard time believing that the little guy is THAT tall and THAT skinny, but what do I know? Medical people are constantly confounding me too. Must be part of their job.

Shauna said...

your christmas card is on my fridge, and everyone comments on how cute ollie is. I am a proud noush.

Why didnt you just WASH the cup and put it away?

Nate said...

CSB, I'm with Shauna, why didn't you just wash the cup and put it away? Also very funny that you tell us Rebecca hid the cookies from you AND OLIVER.

Not getting consistent height/weight numbers must have been frustrating for such a stat hound.

Fun post, you wrote these stories just as you'd tell them.

Anna said...

Layne expressed my thoughts perfectly. So funny how carefully you worked, in vain, to hide your trail.