June 29, 2008

Tagged. FINALLY!

We're going to try to move on from and forget our last no comment post (dis on Noush).

When the Bishop called me on Tuesday to tell me I was tagged I was at my brother's house. We were there playing games with their family because we meant to get together on Saturday but couldn't because Jake, you know Jake knowles, was sick and was staying at their house. So that's why we were there Tuesday night which actually ended up working better because Bob had to work on Saturday because he's heading up a big project and his boss has a mouth like J. Golden. Anyway, when the Bishop called that's where i was and I was like "TELL HIM I'M NOT HERE!!" But that's just me being crazy and joking around, cause I'm like that. Anyway, I told him I would do it cause I just can't say no to a calling or assignment. So, since I'm the last speaker, it looks like we'll be getting out of here 15 minutes early. The Bishop just had a heart attack. Did you, Bishop? What? Oh, ya, no problem. Okay, well back to my talk then. Webster's dictionary defines Charity as the giving of ones means to one less fortunate. Actually that's not the definition i'm looking for, but the 13 definition says Charity is...

3 Joys:
1. Oliver
2. Hearing Reba laugh.
3. Summer

3 Fears:
1. Oliver dying or being unhealthily picked on or sad (I can almost bring myself to tears imagining him being picked on someday. Weird, I know).
2. Financial failure.
3. Sharks.

3 Goals:
1. find an angle to get in on the profits of Bren's future book of Orchard Poetry written by Greg and Ange.
2. Be better hubby/dad.
3. Financial independence by 40.

3 Obsessions:
1. Bit 0 Honey
2. Oliver
3. Righteousness

3 Surprises:
1. Contrary to popular conception, I'm actually very organized. No, not just cause of Reba, even in my business.
2. I always think of how nice it would be to move back to Utah until I visit there and drive along the freeway and am depressed by the Mormony billboards (cheesy mormon movies, books about prophets, 10,000 liposuction ads, etc) and the ugly, ugly view from the freeway (refineries, every MLM headquarters building in the world, train tracks, industrial equipment storage yards, etc). Who the heck is legislating on this stuff? Kick the bums out! But after while I forget and start dreaming again.
3. I can't stand my hands being sticky or dry. When I'm cooking something and getting my hands messy, I wash them every minute or so. Also, can't wear rainbow sandals anymore because the leather just feels so dry on my feet.


Andrea W. said...

Wow, that first paragraph and goal #1 KILLED me. You are the weirdest funniest person I know.

Christian said...

Your reply took 3 minutes. You're getting rusty.

Eliza said...

wow that intro is so dang funny although so weird and took me a minute to figure out what the crap you were talking about. I love reba's laugh too, although it isn't usually associated with you are and your jokes. ; ) lol about the poetry book, good stuff. and I have big time issues with #2 about utah being ugly, are you kidding me???? okay that stuff is ugly, but it is a freaking garden of eden compared to new mexico!!! sorry but its true. anyway, good list loved it keep it up.

Braden and Meredith said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Braden and Meredith said...

That introduction was so spot-on. Perfect. It was so authentic that it gave me a pit in my stomach reading it.

The only thing you didn’t say was, “I really think the Bishop knew I needed to give this talk more than anyone else needs to hear it…”

Another one of us afraid of sharks? This is so weird.

Totally with you on the feeling bad about your kid maybe being picked on someday.

The Allred Family said...

Are you implying that "mormony" billboards= lipo???? What does that mean? :)

Christian said...

Piggy, I agree that New Mexico is ugly. No argument there. I'm not comparing Utah's ugliness to NM, but to other potential places to live.

Shauna said...

first of all, your dis wasnt hurtful because when it was a post on my blog it got a lot of comments.

Second youre an idiot.